


Til' Dawn

by aam5ever



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Pining, Porn With Plot, Smut, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:57:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4293360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aam5ever/pseuds/aam5ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael and Geoff's connection isn't innocent, it's downright a sin, but Michael wants to change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Til' Dawn (Here Comes the Sun) by The Weeknd

"Geoff."

"Michael."

The auburn haired man blinked at the other, who was littered in tattoos. It was God knows what time at night. Crickets sounded endlessly in the dark of the hour, the light from inside the house illuminating Geoff's face. "Geoff... it's so late..." 

The other nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it- it is... I just..." He took a step forward. "I couldn't miss a night without seeing you... now could I?" His pale fingers found their way up to Michael's face, caressing it. Michael caught the hand, and kept it there. No matter the circumstances, Michael always was fucking puddy in Geoff's hands.

"You're too damn drunk for us to even do it well tonight." He playfully complained. He let go of the hand and offered the opportunity for his guest to step inside. It wasn't the first time he's done this. He already felt the bit of shame he had every time he did this starting to creep up in his throat. Michael's words fought to surge to the surface, his heart urging them on but his mind fighting against it-

And as the door shut, his body was pushed against it, Geoff's unyielding kiss forced the sentence back down. 

He was sloppy and uncoordinated. His lips hopelessly smacked and chased at Michael's, but Michael steadied the kiss. He brought Geoff closer, and felt a hand snake into his curls. Their lips were overlapping, the only sound being the chirping crickets and them. It was romantic. It was perfect for Michael. It was just how things were supposed to be.

They broke apart just for Geoff to pull him in and start kissing gently on his neck. He couldn't help but chuckle a little, since it started off a bit ticklish with the older man's stubble. As the kissing turned into sucking on the flesh, Michael gasped slightly. He almost brought his head down further when a tug from his follicles pulled his head back up, leaving more of his neck exposed. Geoff used his self-made advantage, kissing up and down the skin, tongue inviting itself for a taste. Hickeys were going to form if he had anything to say about it. Michael closed his eyes, taken to the border of pleasure and pain. His neck was being assaulted by nips by the teeth and licks to seemingly tend to the forming bruises. He was now unbelievably hard, his pants restraining and his crotch bulging.

"Geoff... H-holy shit..." He breathed out. 

The other pulled away from his neck to look at him, slightly flushed but much more aware than before. "Who's too drunk now?"

"Don't waste your breath." 

They were making their way to the bedroom. They were, but Michael couldn't help it. Seeing Geoff fully clothed with that tent on his pants had him hungry for it. All of it. He suddenly grabbed Geoff by the shirt collar and pulled him to the dining room, leaning him against a table. The older man wasn't expecting Michael to crash their lips together, teeth clicking in the process due to his impatience. However, the man could make any famine into a feast. He immediately had a hand to Michael's ass, covered by boxers, cupping the left cheek. Dragging him closer, Geoff grinded their groins together as they kissed, causing Michael to gasp into his mouth at the extra friction. He was feeling it too, but the sound of Michael's heavier breathing was what made his cock throb more.

All of a sudden, Michael was making his way down to Geoff's buttoned jeans. He rubbed through the fabric as he unbuttoned them, looking up at the older man with those eyes that made Geoff want to fuck him even more. The pants were thrown aside, the boxers pulled down as well. Michael, with no hesitation, had the gent's dick on his tongue, licking and lapping at the shaft. Above, he heard Geoff let out a small moan at the sensation. He was standing more still than Michael would have ever guessed he would. He must have not been so drunk after all.

Lips wrapped around Geoff's erection soon after. Michael bobbed his head slowly at first, looking up through his eyelashes at the man he was making love to. His thoughts were barely there, clouded by the hot steam of arousal that traveled south from his brain. Geoff tried to contain a rather pornagraphic moan, a tattooed hand absentmindedly in Michael's hair. His cock felt the saliva that dribbled down from his base to the balls, the back of the younger man's throat, and the tongue lapping at the underside of his dick. He tilted his head back, his legs almost giving out. Geoff was fucking hooked on Michael right now, an addiction he just didn't want to shake.

Michael's hand was pumping his dick from the base while his tongue licked the head of it. He knew Geoff was squirming and moaning from how tantalizingly slow he was going, and smirked. 

Suddenly, just as he expected, Geoff's hands were behind Michael's head, holding it in their grasp. Michael held Geoff's hips as he rocked into his mouth. The man was fucking Michael's mouth, and it felt so good. The smooth satin feel was making him hot, a pressure beginning to build up as he got faster into thrusting himself down Michael's throat. Luckily, the man's gag reflex was nearly nonexistent. "You like that, don't you? My dick down your throat?" All he got was a hum back, but took at as a yes. His ragged breathing proved that the man was undoubtedly and almost insatiably horny.

A squeeze of Geoff's hips alerted him to slow to a stop. Michael got up from his former position, saying, "Now where's the fun in coming after only a blowjob?" 

The older of the two was flushed, but not at much as Michael was. His lips swollen and eyes blown out by their sexual interaction, he was now even more ready to have Michael screaming out his name, even if the hour was so late. 

Even if Michael wasn't really his.

They switched places, the heavily tattooed man kissing on Michael, who was pressed against the dining table. They were both fully undressed now, the pure nakedness of both bodies now making them both even more hard. Michael felt himself get picked up and held on to Geoff, shivering once his bare ass touched the surface of the table. His entrance was tilted towards Geoff, and he used his elbows to prop him up as the other man disappeared for a few moments.

He came back with a condom and lube. Geoff had been here enough time to invite himself in finding the supplies. The condom was on in a flash, and lube was making Geoff's fingers slick and shiny. 

Geoff brought his tongue down to circle and lick trails around Michael's hole, who whined a little at the feeling. His dick twitched, and he knew that Geoff noticed it without a doubt. A finger was slowly rubbing around the hole, and then edged in. As the slick finger did, Michael felt himself pushed into and closed his eyes with a small moan. When the finger was fully in, it came in and out in a steady fashion. It was good, but not enough to sate Michael's needs. He pushed into the finger that was fucking him, and Geoff took that as he needed another. 

A little more lube later, and Michael had two fingers inside of him. He felt full, but not full enough. The two fingers were picking up speed in how fast there were worked into him, and he let out a small noise. "Oh Geoff... oh my God... Geoff..."

Geoff's face lowered to his hard cock, precome seeping from the tip. His warm tongue found the head of Michael's penis and licked a stripe right down it as his fingers continued to pump into Michael. "How does it feel, being fucked on the dining room table, hm?" He lapped up more precome from the hard dick as Michael squirmed and moaned even louder. "Every time you eat here all you'll think about his how good I had you here. How much you wanted to come all over this thing." 

"G-Geoff... I..." Michael couldn't form a word. His body was being rocked by Geoff's fingers, his own cock assaulted by the same man's tongue. He wanted release, but it just wasn't ready yet. "Fuck me! Fuck me, please, good Christ I need it, I need you in me right fucking now..." His cheeks burned as he said it, but knew that the plea was all it would take.

A chuckle came from the man by his lower half. His blue eyes held a mischievous glint in them as they looked up at Michael. "All you had to do was ask." God, Geoff was so sexy. So beautiful, his tattooed body a work of art... the painted arms shifting him into a better position. Michael couldn't help himself licking his reddened lips, forehead slick with sweat from how hot it was in the house and in his situation. Fingernails dug slightly into his upper thighs, causing Michael to snap back into reality. Just in time, too, he could consciously look at Geoff's dick slowly pushing into him. He felt a slight lurch in his stomach, the feeling always there every time this happens. It was like a new feeling all over again each time... he didn't know whether that was good or bad.

The slow inching in was the most tense part of the adventure to Geoff. His cock steadily disappearing into Michael, pleasure wrapping around him as he bottomed out. Michael felt it as he brought his hips fully inward, and then out again. Biting his lip, the younger man's eyelashes fluttered as he was being pushed into again, with a bit more confidence. The process picked up right after that, Geoff establishing quite a pace and Michael using one hand to pull at his own hair. The sound of Geoff's ragged breathing as he pounded him was making Michael even more painfully hard than he was. His prostate was occasionally getting the brute force of Geoff, but he was making love to him with no exact rhyme or reason. He just felt it out and judged it by how loud he had Michael moaning.

"This is what you dream about, right?" Geoff continued his dirty talk. "My cock right inside you, fucking you nice and raw..." He sped up his thrusting just to prove his point. Michael's hands wanted to grasp onto something, but the table was smooth. He hit the back of his head on it in frustration. His gasps and whines were matched with the sound of Geoff's thighs smacking against him. "I wanna hear your voice, I want the entire neighborhood knocking on this damn door... and you'd answer it, covered in cum and flushed as Hell." Geoff smirked between his panting as Michael moaned even more at the imagery.

The table was sticking to his back, due to the sweat. Michael tilted his head back and let out another loud whine, his member throbbing. Oh how good it would feel to come right now... Geoff's blue eyes looking down at the white stripes down his already damp chest... he could barely handle it. 

Just then, Geoff quickly pulled out and had Michael get off the table. He thought for a moment that they were going to the bedroom right before Geoff manually turned him around. Knowing that this was leading to, Michael had his elbows on the table, hunched over, ass presented to just the right person. He felt Geoff's dick push in once more with a bit more lube slicking the erection, and within the first few seconds Michael's knees almost gave out. He was being fucked into instantly, no hesitation present. The room was dim and Michael wanted to hang his head and let out an endless, desire-filled cry. Geoff's lips dragged themselves against Michael's neck, his pace slowing. The younger man sighed and shuddered, dick dripping with more precum. He turned his head and lazily kissed Geoff, who returned the gesture. 

Their lips locked, Michael moaning occasionally into the older man's mouth. Their sex-filled air was giving them both a high that the world couldn't take away so easily. One of Geoff's hands wandered around Michael's hips and down his thighs, purposefully minding his member and doing nothing to touch it. It frustrated the other man, who wanted so badly to have something around his erection rather than his own hand. It bounced with each thrust of Geoff's own cock into Michael, which was twitching inside of him. The heated, slick walls inside of him made each push inside a new grunt that could easily turn into its own whine from Geoff. 

He had gotten off of Michael's back and looked down at himself fucking into him. The pure bliss of seeing that was almost enough to send him over the edge, but teetering there was almost all the fun. Geoff slowed, his tattooed fingers finally encasing Michael's cock. The man, who was becoming overstimulated, let out a loud moan just from the feeling of coarse hands around his member. He tried to thrust into them, and in turn had pushed himself onto the older man's dick at the same time as well. Michael continued his half awkward, half arousing movements, table creaking with it. His tongue was halfway out of his mouth as he let Geoff's hand drag across his dick, and then begin to slowly jerk it off. Every upward strike threatened to make him release, and as he moved backward, his prostate was repeatedly stimulated by the erection penetrating him already.

The man was panting as Geoff finally let him rest, holding his hips still with one hand to stop him from moving. He sped up the pace, jerking Michael off and fucking him at the same time. His dick pulled out almost to full length before slamming back in. The table seemed to almost jump with Michael, who was moaning and tearing his voice. His head was thrown back, eyes lidded and drool dripping from his lips to his chin, and then onto the wooden table. The younger man let out the smallest of sobs, dick being pumped fast and constantly by an inked hand. He could barely keep his stance, wanting to give out and have Geoff make love to him right into the ground.

The pressure was suddenly too much. Finally, Michael came, leaving a stripe on the floor. More came out as he sighed at the relief, dripping the white fluid onto both the floor and having it seep around Geoff's fingers. He was smirking down at the sweaty, tired mess of a man he had, and felt his own erection wanting to give in to euphoria. He began to fuck into Michael again, the overstimulated man letting out a few moans again, but obviously drunk off his own climax still. The older of the two came eventually, shuddering and repeating "Michael" in short breaths. He pulled out and turned the other around to kiss those swollen lips that had just been slave to his own name.

After clean up, Geoff found himself lying in Michael's bed. 

It wasn't the first time.


	2. Chapter 2

The smaller man had his head on his chest, snoring softly. Crickets continued to chirp through the night outside. Boxer briefs were the only garments worn under the slightly scratchy sheets, Geoff closing his eyes and trying to imagine all his pain away. Sleep was supposed to come naturally, right? He could hardly remember anymore.

Michael's brows furrowed as he fixed himself into a better position, a little spoon. Geoff looked over in the dark and couldn't help but wrap an arm around him, becoming his bigger spoon. All of the arguments... just melting out of existence... if he could... only... make that happen...

The crack of dawn came too early. He didn't want it to be bright out yet. Let the moon stay up. He slowly felt warmth retract from his body. No! There was so much more time left to stay. Why does he always fucking leave? Why can't he just play into the facade a little longer?

Michael's thoughts kept at a constant whirlwind as Geoff's departure made the bed raise a bit higher and squeak. The ground under his feet also creaked, the polished wood feeling cool and encouraging him even more to leave. No way would Geoff would let himself get used to cold floors in the morning. His real bedroom has carpet. 

Pants on first. Then slip on the shirt, and then the hoodie. Geoff made his way to the bathroom, which he knew by routine. The man tried to avoid his own gaze in the mirror, the gaze that knew that his actual fiancé would kill him if he only knew-

"Geoff?" A familiar sleepy voice sounded from the other room. The older man washed his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Damn, Michael wasn't usually up for this part. 

Taking steps out of the bathroom, he saw Michael. His pale skin was red in certain places from deeds last night and red in others just naturally, curly hair messy and wild. His eyes were half open but focused, knowing exactly what was going to happen. "Going already?" He tried to seem playful, but the hurt in his voice was obvious. 

The older man couldn't deny. "You know I've gotta go." He said matter-of-factly. "Even though you're beautiful..." Geoff couldn't help it; Michael wasn't anything like a passing fancy. He wasn't exactly a good thing to keep around, though. 

"Prove it, then..." Michael opened a part of the covers for an invite. "Stay with me." He was stubborn, and halfway broken by the relationship he just couldn't have. "I need you more than he does, I promise." He was borderline pleading. It was, in a way, pathetic, but honestly how far away was he from that title anyways? 

Geoff wasn't giving in, though. He leaned over to kiss Michael's lips one last time. The taste was tempting, but everything bad for you always tasted the best. "Bye, Michael." He then took a few steps back before turning and seeing himself out.

Michael laid there in the bed, staring after the tattooed lover that came and went whenever he pleased. It was painful, but it had to be that way, right? Someday... someday he'd have Geoff. Whatever his boyfriend had, he'd best it. He wanted that ring on his finger, damn it! Michael wanted the privilege to see that finely aged body constantly, and to feel like anything more than a young thing packaged with a sticker that said "For Lonely Nights".

The rest of Michael's day was a simple one, thoughts going back to last night's naughty happenings that caused him to shiver. He had to talk to someone, anyone about his situation. He hadn't told anyone how he had been a part of an affair willingly for a while now. The truth was eating him inside out and Michael realized that letting it do so was going to do nothing but drive him up a wall. 

So, a simple phone call satiated his need for working his mouth in more than one way. 

"Michael?" The voice belonged to Ray, a man he had been friends with for a while. "I haven't heard from you in a while. Who died?"

The question made him roll his eyes. "Nobody's fuckin' dead. Just... can I see you? Today?"

The tone of his voice must've been caught. Ray's shifted as well. "Sure man, what's wrong?" He wasn't one for being concerned over too much, but whatever was going on, it must be something pretty off for his friend to sound that way. 

"I'll tell you when you get here."

Once he hung up, Michael ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. What was he doing? How did he even get into this? He and Geoff were nothing at one point, and now... chaos. Sin-filled chaos.

Michael opened the door to Ray once he arrived. He gave him a quick hug, with a greeting of, "Hey man!" before leading him inside. 

"What's up?" Ray called to him as he walked around, examining like usual. The house Michael owned was decent, his job as a voice actor helping him along. Pictures of Michael and his parents and paintings of the blandest roses and beaches were on the cream walls. Eyes looked over at the dining room table, and in a certain light, it looked like handprints had been on it. Strange. Ray ran a hand over the tan leather of the couch before sitting on it. Silence answered him, so he called out, "Could you get me a-" 

"Sprite, like I don't fuckin' know you." The man of the house came with a can in hand. He handed the can to his friend before taking a seat right next to him. The smile on his face began to fade as he spoke about the problem. His problem. "Look... I've been getting into some pretty messed up shit."

Ray took a swig of his bubbly beverage before asking, "Messed up meaning violent? Drugs? Hookers?" He spoke in a joking manner, only to have Michael's response almost make him choke.

"An affair."

The sudden silence was palpable, them sharing a look. Ray looked confused, surprised. Michael just seemed sad and unsure.

"R-really?" The other man was so taken aback. His brows furrowed, almost in disbelief. He spoke with a bit of a whisper.

Slowly, Michael nodded. "I... I didn't expect it to get this far I- it was so different when I first met the guy..."

Ray knew about his friends attraction to males, so none of that was the surprise. "Who is he?"

"Some guy I met over a bit of work I did once." Michael let him know. "We kept in touch. Once, I invited him over, and that was the first time we..." He couldn't even finish the sentence. "I don't know what to do now. I feel fuckin' insane."

This situation was way out of Ray's length of help. Nothing like this has ever been brought up before. "How... long?"

It was hard to remember. Every night was like a dream, so how long has he been having these inconsistent dreams? "A few months?"

"God damn, Michael."

They sat there in silence for a few more moments. Ray sipped his drink before sighing and setting it on the table. He leaned in and spoke to his friend very directly. "Dude... you have to end it, you know that right?"

Just the idea of doing so made a jolt go through Michael's heart. "I-uh..." He scratched his chin and shifted his eyes away, knowing that his friend could read his obvious emotions.

"...you can't keep it up forever." 

"Don't you think I fuckin' know that?" Michael snapped. Ray didn't even bat an eyelash at his outburst. "I don't want to be... just any person to this guy anymore."

Ray looked at him intently. He tried to read what he meant on his face, and the slight blush he witnessed spread across his face confirmed something. "You want him." When his friend nodded, he couldn't help but let out a little scoff. "Michael, he's not going to leave whoever he's with to jump to you. If this has been going on for months... don't you think he would've tried to pull that earlier?"

The words he heard were true. So brutally, hurtfully true that he immediately reacted to it. A growl came from Michael's throat as he said, "Shut up." Ray gave him a look of pity, and he stood up. "You don't know a fucking thing about him. How could you think that?" 

"I'm just saying what I've heard..." Ray stayed seated, but kept his eyes on his friend. He was completely taken over by some sort of animalistic feeling. Desire. 

Michael's fists were balled so tightly, he could feel the sting of fingernails digging into his skin. "What shit you heard doesn't fucking matter right now..." The sentence came out hurt but still with an edge. He looked away from Ray, who looked confused yet again.

Why wasn't Michael listening to him? "I don't want you to get hurt over this bullshit, okay?" Ray slowly stood as well, rage creeping into his voice. "It's not my fault you were put into this mess, but once it's over, you're not gonna be the one that fucking guy is gonna run to!" He was expressive, but with his words and hands. "Honestly, if anything, I would expect you'd never see his ass again." The expression on Michael's face almost made him stand down.

"...why are you here if all you're going to do is make fun of me..."

"That's not what..." Ray couldn't even finish his sentence. He sighed because anything he said wouldn't be getting through to the guy. "I just want to stop you from hurting yourself."

They locked eyes, Ray's hardened with serious care while Michael's blazed with internalized fury. Who it was directed to, he wasn't sure. Finally, he waved his hand towards the door. "It was nice seeing you, Ray." Michael's voice sounded tired and uninterested, not matching his eyes at all as he folded his arms.

After a steady stare, Ray took a quick swig of his Sprite before setting it down. "Fine." The silence was broken by him walking over to the entrance and opening it. "I just need you to know this; affairs don't really end in a fuckin' happy ending." The hair on the back of Michael's neck stood on end when the door slammed shut.

The house shook due to the force. Michael exhaled through his nose, knowing he had to calm down. Ray's opinion didn't mean anything... right? "This is bullshit." The man wouldn't allow himself to doubt his own beliefs. Geoff has to come around, that's all. Michael looked at the Sprite can Ray left, and went to pick it up and dispose of it.

Having it in his hand, Michael's fist dented the sides. Ray was wrong about Geoff... so, so wrong. The way he held him, the way he LOOKS at him... Geoff feels more than he lets on. That has to be it! And Ray is just...

Frustration doubled when he thought of his friend's words, and Michael threw the can against the wall. Breathing heavily, he hadn't even thought about how the beverage was not even half finished. Sprite was wetting the wall and floor. He had his head in a hand, trying to contemplate how stupid he was being. 

Later, as he was cleaning up his mess, there was a call.


	3. Chapter 3

How he ended up here was a mystery. Why did Geoff want him to come to his house? Why did he say yes? Why was he such a sucker for this fucking guy, who now was swirling his tongue in his mouth before they even drove away? 

Breaking the kiss, Michael looked into Geoff's blue eyes. They looked clouded by lust, and he wasn't sure if that was good or not. "Why are you inviting me over?" He asked in a hushed tone. 

Geoff tilted Michael's chin toward him with an arched finger. "I'm tired of you not knowing a thing about me..." Warm breath was shared in the close space. "But you can't stay for long." He couldn't bare to tell him that if his boyfriend found him walking through the door in the morning one more time, he might end up on the streets. He just couldn't tell him how much waking up in someone else's bed stabbed at his heart, although that someone else was just too good to stop seeing. Even if the guy wasn't going to be home for a while, Geoff felt eyes on him more than ever. He couldn't say a word of it... Michael was the only one on his side lately.

However, the notion of Geoff even taking him in his shiny black car had Michael glowing. He was opening up, wasn't he? He was finally opening up to him... Geoff trusted him. The man took his face in both hands, pressing Geoff's mouth to his. There was no way Michael was giving this up. Ray didn't know what the shit he was talking about. There was something here, he knew it. 

The drive was no more than an hour, no less than half of one. When they pulled up to the tall blue house with a nice white fence and clean welcome matt, Geoff saw the look on Michael's face. "We had the funds to buy something like this. The American Dream house, pretty much." He joked. 

We. We... Geoff and his nameless partner. The sound of their still existing partnership made Michael feel sour. Feel wrong. Yet, Geoff nudging him to indicate they should get inside helped the bitter taste fade.

They crossed the threshold, the first step causing the floor to creak. Michael's voice echoed slightly as he asked, "Are we alone?" 

"Yeah. He's staying a weekend at his sick mother's. Said he should go by himself." Geoff tried to hide the hurt in his voice of not even being offered an invitation to visit. The place smelled like fresh polish and a hint of mint. Michael could imagine Geoff cooking breakfast in the kitchen, Geoff fixing a bulb in the dining room's small chandelier, Geoff painting the walls white from the unappealing yellow he could spot in the corner of the room. Damn, this place was three times better than his. 

He took off his shoes, placing them by the door. Michael traced fingertips along the cool countertop of the kitchen. Geoff was watching him, a small smile on his lips. "I'm guessing you like my house."

Slowly, Michael nodded. "Yeah... this place is pretty nice." He commented. He heard footsteps, and arms looped around his midsection as he looked out the kitchen's small window. "Handsy, aren't you?" He flirted lightly. Lips met his neck, causing him to let out a sigh. Hickies from the night before didn't even get time to heal, still very sensitive. 

Michael tilted his head back onto Geoff's shoulder while the older man lapped at the skin. Geoff whispered, "You're so cute when you're like this, Michael." The way he said his name made Michael shudder, eyes staring up at the ceiling while his toes curled. "You like this?"

"Y-yeah..." He let out, a flick of Geoff's tongue making him barely take in a breath. "God, Geoff..." He settled a hand on one of Geoff's arms that circled his waist, thumb caressing inked flesh. 

"Do you wanna go further?" The other man asked, stubble scratching at a part of Michael's clavicle. The sun, beginning to make its travel down and out of view, illuminated Michael's brown eyes when they opened. Gold melted into burnt oranges that then mixed into browns. It warmed his skin even more than it was already. 

A few moments later, and he responded. "Yeah, I do.

Upstairs, the bedroom had clean peach sheets. Plump pillows were lined up, leaning against the birch wood headboard. Small swirls was the pattern on the bed, a remote haphazardly thrown on it for the TV opposite to the bed. The curtains were closed, blinds down. The picture at the side of the bed was already turned away, as if Michael were to have no idea who it was in it. 

He was lead into the room before Geoff turned him around to meet mouths again. He nipped at Geoff's lip, wanting to leave a mark. Unlike usual, Geoff let him. Michael's saliva meshed with his as they continued to kiss. Before they made it to the bed, Michael had the upper hand, and got Geoff laying down while he was the one crawling onto him. 

The older man eagerly lifted his head up to taste the other man again, growing hard already. Despite all the stress he was going through because of Michael, Michael was the only thing that could calm him. That could make him feel right. That could justify his actions by doing the actions. If only his boyfriend could understand... if only...

One last kiss, long and sloppy, was broken as Michael reached up and pulled off his shirt from behind. He discarded it by the foot of the bed. It was no trouble to get Geoff unbuttoning his by then. They met again, hungrier for each other. Geoff felt Michael's crotch rub against his, and nothing else could feel greater in this moment.

"I- Oh I want you so bad..." Michael seemed to whisper. His head hung over Geoff's, hair framing his face.

Geoff started unzipping Michael's jeans, slowly. He wanted to take in every millisecond of him being in this position. "Not as much as I need you." A hand ran over Michael's bulge, and he let out a breath he barely realized was held in. "Excited and expecting, aren't we?" He chuckled, and then pushed the younger man's hand away when he tried to pull down Geoff's zipper. "No, not yet; I'm taking care of you first."

Michael could purr at how good that sounded, but was already being told to lay down, elbows propped up. He felt Geoff now snaking in between his legs, and hot breath on his hardening member. He wanted to reach down, pull down his jeans at least, but a stare from his lover kept his hands away. "Keep them above your head." The commanding yet flirtatious undertone of his voice had Michael obeying him immediately. "Good." Was his short but sweet praise. Michael blushed, slightly embarrassed that he could be such a hard headed bastard in some cases yet molded like putty in these.

Geoff dragged his tongue against Michael's cock, but all he tasted was boxer briefs. He continued to rub at the erection through the cloth, looking up to see Michael's eyes focused but his breathing getting heavier and heavier. "I want you to come apart, Michael. I wanna see you red faced, see you struggling not to call out my name as you ride me for as long as possible." His dirty talk, combined with him finally pulling down Michael's underwear, made the younger man struggle to keep down a moan. He massaged the base, taking only the tip into his mouth and sucking it. The action, small and controlled, still had Michael clinging onto the bedsheets. 

"G-Geoff... oh, my f-fucking..." He barely had his bearings. He still kept his hands away, fighting the urge to reach down and feel the older man's soft hair though his fingers. 

Saliva started coating the rest of his erection, with Geoff going farther and farther until he had all of Michael in his mouth. It wasn't much of a simple feat to do that, so when he deepthroated, the man above let out a sigh. His fingers were itching to do something, anything, but all he could do was watch as he was pleasured, Geoff making it his business to have him groaning. 

He stroked Michael's cock and looked up to see him staring helplessly. It was a sight Geoff liked to see... being in control was what he needed. What he wanted to do. "You're so beautiful, staying like I told you to." He smirked as Michael nodded, keeping his mouth shut. "No need to try to keep quiet baby; we've got this place all to ourselves." 

Soon enough, Michael was fully naked. He was on his knees and elbows, sinking into the bed. He felt exposed, no secrets left to hide as Geoff approached with lube coated fingers. But, there wasn't much to hide anymore anyways. At least, not in his case.

Cold fingers circled around his entrance, accompanied with his unexpected gasp. They were slow, dragging across the crease of Michael's ass. He shut his eyes and exhaled once Geoff entered, only one pushing inside.

"How's that feel?" 

"Fuck, how do you think?"

He tried to sound annoyed, but the act quickly fell away once Geoff retracted his finger slightly before thrusting in once more. He was hard just from watching Michael squirm, and as he repeatedly moved his finger into him faster and faster, the man was letting out a small moan. Another was added, but he kept his same pace. The addition made Michael's voice crack, and his cheeks burned when Geoff chuckled. 

Geoff kept working his fingers in Michael. His eyes lingered on his bare, pale ass. His other hand came up and he lightly smacked the skin, just enough to sting. Michael's reaction was immediate, a gasp followed by a smirk. "H-harder." He dared to demand. Geoff answered with a heavier hand, leaving a red mark. The feeling was so different, so dirty, and Michael loved it. 

They were both fueled by anticipation and the sensual atmosphere. Geoff soon shed the rest of his clothes and climbed onto the bed. Without any instruction, Michael was on him, stroking his cock as he sat on the older man's thighs. His own yearned for attention. Geoff reached down and swatted Michael's hand away, beginning to drag his one hand up and down both of their erections. Michael gazed upwards, mouth agape as his breathing became labored just from the contact. He had each knee on either side of Geoff's. 

There was no other sound but each other, caught up in the lone world they made. It was the only thing the two needed, always. Michael began rutting into Geoff's hand, their cocks rubbing together and creating a pleasant friction.

"Oh, baby..." The words were senseless, tumbling out of Geoff's mouth. "I want you to ride me."

At the idea, Michael nodded. He wanted to do nothing less than just that. Precum was already at the tip, and he could salivate at Geoff removing his hand to lap up the liquid that had dripped down to his finger. He leaned down, Geoff meeting him halfway to lock lips. They sucked tongues and were edging closer and closer to full elation. Michael then pulled away from Geoff's hand, breaking their kiss so the man underneath him could roll on a condom. He didn't touch himself at all, knowing that the older man would just instruct him not to anyways. 

His erection was throbbing when Geoff was ready for him. "I want you to go as hard as you want, baby." He sounded so sweet, even in such a lewd scene. Michael was lead on how to lower himself, hips held with a gentle but assured grip. Being manhandled wasn't anything new, or anything he refused. As he felt Geoff's cock slowly ease inside of him, Michael let out a breathy groan before smiling down at Geoff. He was met with a lazy, crooked smile and sharp blue eyes. This didn't feel like any other simple session of Geoff fucking him. Michael was sure this had meaning.

Lowering himself only a bit more, he propped his feet up and started to lift himself up again before dropping. The first initial pound of the rest of Geoff's cock inside of him had Michael seeing stars by how good it felt to feel full. He wanted to feel it every day, wanted it to be accompanied by promises and goodnight kisses... 

Geoff had his hands on either side of Michael's hips, but didn't guide him into any rhythm. He was already holding back moans from the first few bounces the man riding him had taken. They were a bit far in between, but as time passed Geoff could barely keep his tongue in his mouth and his hands around those pale hips. He reached down to Michael's ass and smacked it, which seemed to encourage the younger man. He went down harder, came up faster, made louder noises. With each time Geoff's cock was deep inside Michael, he was pressed into the mattress. 

"Oh, G-Geoff... fuck..." Michael managed to express in between breaths. His dick bounced as well, close to painfully hard. He tried to reach down and stroke it, but then was immediately reprimanded. 

"N-no, I want you to come by me..." Geoff saw the desperate look in Michael's eyes. The expression he then made was sexy yet malicious. "Only by me." 

Michael groaned both in pleasure and annoyance. Release was so close, he could definitely reach out and touch it. Yet, he was held back by Geoff's simple command. He bounced as fast as he could, just to fuck with Geoff. He needed some sort of payback, and this could possibly be it. 

It didn't seem to bother the older man. In fact, he was enjoying it. The satisfaction did not last long, though. Soon after, Geoff's squeeze of Michael's lower hips made him come to a halt. "I want to fuck into you..." He explained quickly. Michael was then positioned with his back to the older man's chest, Geoff sitting with pillows behind him while Michael lowered himself onto him once more. Once he felt Michael's walls around him again, Geoff immediately propped his lower half (and Michael) up and thrust into him. 

The pace was erratic almost immediately, no mercy present. Their moans and grunts mixed together. Michael had one hand digging into his thigh to prevent it from touching his cock. Another was thrown up behind Geoff's head, which he quickly used to turn it and smash their lips together again. Their kisses were oversaturated as Michael whined into Geoff's mouth, having a cock constantly moving inside of him. It hit his sweet spot a multitude of times, and each time he was sent up a new octave. 

The look of perfect neediness in Michael's features was putting Geoff over the moon. It was what had him wrapping his hand around Michael's cock to jack him off himself. Just the warmth alone was close to enough of what Michael was begging for. "I want to come Geoff, p-please..." He was physically tired, the tension approaching the phrase 'too much'. 

Geoff used a free hand to tilt Michael's head over to him again. "I know you do, baby." 

"G-Geoff, I need to come- Fuck I love you, I love you, I just really need to..." He became lost in his repetitive panting, not even realizing what he said.

The words stuck to the older man. He didn't stop massaging the tip of Michael's cock, or pushing himself into the lad. He just simply responded with, "I know..." Because he did. He knew about the affections Michael held, but didn't do a thing to curb them. "I want you to come for me, okay? Go ahead." His permission was the finishing touch. Michael came onto his own chest, a streak on his stomach and some still on Geoff's tattooed thumb. 

The relief was short lived when Michael felt Geoff still pounding into him. He knew the man needed to come too, and moaned just the same. Overstimulation took him over, feeling every bit on fire but not hesitant to a possible round two. Geoff grunted, wrapping an arm around Michael's midsection as he fucked into him at breakneck speed. He bounced up and down on Geoff's cock as it kept rocketing up into him, over sensitivity making him cry out. A final shout of Michael's name, and Geoff came. He was like stone for a while before relaxing. Michael panted, crawling off of him but quickly pressing Geoff into the pillows and kissing him sweetly. He was surprised, but he chuckled into the younger's mouth. 

It was considered night time when Geoff came back cleaned up and Michael had his clothes back on. They looked at each other, and Geoff turned away, padding down the stairs. Weird, he seemed... distant. Frustrated, even. Knowing nothing else to do, Michael was about to follow when he his eyes landed on the picture frame. Curiosity controlled him for the brief moment, and he walked over and turned the frame.

Geoff, smiling with another man, met him. They looked happy, elated, even. Michael wiped off a smudge over Geoff's eyes -which didn't look as tired as they are now- and peered at the other man's face. He looked older than Michael, but had sandy hair that blew in the wind they took the picture in. The nameless guy was built much more solidly that he was. It was a stab at his confidence, if anything.

"Michael?"

He looked back abruptly, and saw Geoff staring at him. They both knew it was an awkward situation, but Geoff didn't address it. "You want me to take you home, right?"

Placing the picture down and turning it away once more, Michael thought about it. He didn't want to go home, not yet. He wanted to slide in between Geoff's arms and watch TV with him before bed, wanted to go to bed with him just to sleep, and wanted to wake up in the morning and actually see Geoff next to him. "Do I have to go home so quickly?" He asked like a seven year old. 

There was no question in Geoff's eyes. "Yes... you do." He spoke pointedly, not bothering to dance around Michael's feelings. He was colder than usual. He had to keep this situation under control, or else it would become unbearable. "C'mon, before it gets too late." Geoff went back downstairs, and this time, Michael was right behind him.

The drive back to Michael's was silent, both of them wondering how long they could keep this up.


	4. Chapter 4

An empty bed had Geoff tossing and turning. The memory of the wrong lips on his kept his mind running, chasing after the moments only hours ago. He could remember every detail, recall every scene, all verbatim. All so, so unfaithful. 

"God damn it." The curse was followed by him turning on the lights. Either way, Geoff wasn't sleeping tonight. Yet, a question lingered in his mind. Who did he really want in this bed right now? His boyfriend, or his selfless lover?

Honestly, the worst part of it all was how much Michael cared. The proclamation of love resurfaced in the lake of Geoff's mind, and he knew he couldn't drown the evidence any longer. The poor man kept him closer than his morals. Michael knew all about his boyfriend, yet stood in his house, sat on his bed, begged for more. What right did Geoff have to give it to him? What right did Geoff have to do any of this?

When will the luck run out?

His phone rang, and it startled him. Unsteady fingers soon took hold of the phone. A familiar number made him sigh, and he answered. "Hello?"

"Why are you awake?"

"I should be asking you the same question."

"I just got a lot on my mind." The person on the other end let out a huff of air. "I'm coming home sooner than expected, okay?" 

His boyfriend's news didn't even make Geoff blink. Of course he was. There's only so much you can do at a relative's home. "Seems like a bit of unnecessary news, don't you think?" He laughed, but it was short and tired. "I'm always excited for you when you come home." The tone of his voice would have given no indication of this.

"I'm glad." The other man seemed to actually be so. 

"I'm pretty lonely, y'know..." Geoff teased. "Bed all to myself, sheets cold..." He then purred, "Ryan, if only you'd come home faster." 

He could basically hear the other man's smirk. "Isn't it a bit rude to try and seduce me while I'm at my mother's place?"

"It's sinful if you act on it."

Ryan laughed. "Whatever." He seems to be shifting on his bed, the awkward sounding rustle of sheets being heard over the phone. "I should probably sleep now. Love you." 

The phone was hung up before Geoff could say he loved him back. He wasn't sure he was going to, anyways.

Lights were turned off once more, but sleep was nowhere to be found. The feeling of being alone with thoughts took him once more. He wiped his eyes furiously with both hands, then decided to get downstairs. Maybe something to eat will help him rest easy.

Taking the walk downstairs reminded him up Michael trailing behind him, silently. Like a puppy dog, or an obedient child, he was. Geoff couldn't help but look behind him, as if expecting to see a curly mop of hair tailing him in the shadows. Nothing was there. As expected.

The kitchen came into view, the nearly full moon giving it an eerie glow. He could envision Michael there, standing with eyes to the window. But what was he saying? These thoughts had to disappear, before they spiraled out of control.

Milk was retrieved from the fridge. Geoff poured himself a tall glass, and then toasted and buttered bread. A small, but filling, midnight snack came into fruition. He was about to partake in it when the phone in his bedroom began to ring once more.

"What's Ryan thinking about now?" He mumbled before getting to the phone two steps at a time and with haste.

Michael's name was illuminated on the screen. The number was in his phone strictly for work purposes, but that was the initial reason. The amount of times he had to delete texts was astonishing. Geoff's heart skipped a beat when he saw it, the phone continuing to ring. Finally, he hit the button to answer.

"Michael?"

"Hey, Geoff."

Silence. A soft crackle over the line let Geoff know that Michael was positioning himself. "Michael, it's late..."

There wasn't a response for a few moments. The older man wondered if Michael was busy doing something until he said, "I know. I can't fucking sleep." It threw Geoff for loop. "I was wondering... were upset with me earlier?"

It was his wake up call. He wasn't supposed to get to this point. Michael was acting like... more than whatever their relationship was. Did he make the assumptions himself? Didn't Geoff make it clear what they were months ago? Yet, Geoff wasn't sure he was helping the situation when he asked, "Why?"

"I've just been thinking for a while." The voice over the phone seemed quieter. "This... thing we have. It's pretty fucking ridiculous, honestly."

"What are you trying to say?" 'Remain calm, Michael would never leave you'. The voice in the back of his mind floated up to reassure him, but it just made him even more worried. When did Geoff turn into such a control freak? When did he even care what Michael did?

More small crackles over the phone. Geoff sat on the side of the bed, grasping the sheets and waiting. "Don't you think we should do something about this? Damn it, you probably don't feel the same. Shit." Frustration came over the line. Geoff realized what Michael was trying to say just from it. 

How could he talk about this right now? "I'm... I don't know, Michael." This conversation was confusing with underlying tones of desperation, yet it wasn't something both of the men didn't have experience with. "When we first began this... I didn't expect to get so far. And now, I- I just..." No words could even flow out of his mouth. How did Geoff really feel about Michael? The only thing between the man and his lover was his boyfriend. Now, it's all going to shit pretty fast. If he doesn't keep Michael here, the gap between he and Ryan on the bed would just widen until someone wasn't there anymore. Michael was, for some reason, the thing that kept Geoff trying with Ryan. If he did let the younger man have too many feelings for him, Ryan would find out eventually and he'd lose him. 

"I should go-"

"Don't."

Geoff surprised himself in that instance. "Stay on the line." He had forgotten the small filling meal he had fixed himself downstairs by now. The appetite was out like a flame. "You... are my solace in this entire situation. That isn't the best thing, honestly, but... fuck man, I cannot leave you alone can I?"

Crickets chirped outside, low and few in between. They filled up the space that voiceless thoughts left silent from both ends of the phone line. Michael felt torn himself. He could feel himself slipping farther into the world of actually loving Geoff, and it was a road to ruin. There was a very slim chance of anything coming from this, but he had always been a bit of a challenger of the odds, hasn't he? "I don't want you to leave me alone." The words were soft, meaningful, and followed by, "Just talking to you does shit to me." He then chuckled under his breath. "I'm like a fucking school girl over here." 

The conversation could be mistaken as innocent if it wasn't for the situation. Yet, Geoff found himself smiling. "That's alright. It's cute, actually." He heard Michael's small laugh, distorted only slightly by the phone. 

"I wish I was with you." Michael disclosed after a pause. "Wherever you are. I'd do anything to help you sleep, like you're..." He took a moment to yawn. "-you're doing for me."

The conflicting emotions inside Geoff began to ache. He faked a yawn. "I'm actually getting tired now." A small smile formed on his lips. "I think we should both try to sleep again."

"Mmm." The other man hummed in agreement. "Goodnight. Sorry for uh... disturbing you or some shit." He was tentative, worried he was overstepping boundaries.

Geoff should be a little annoyed, shouldn't he? Their usual relationship... was morphing quickly. It was possibly morphing into something uncontrollable: one-sided love. "Nah man, just get some rest. Night." He couldn't bring himself to be angry with the one guy who kept him calm throughout the storm. 

"Good night."

But who's storm was brewing? His or Michael's?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	5. Chapter 5

A few days passed. Ray called... called again... called once more. But it wasn't Geoff. It just wasn't him.

Michael knew this was him getting way too deep. Irately glaring at Ray's name lighting up on his phone? Feeling incomplete without bitten down nails dragging lazily across his skin? This wasn't right... this was torture. Pain. Pleasure in both the highest and lowest degree. 

Another sun rose to Michael's already open eyes. He groaned, the darkness being washed out by natural light. "God..." It was all he could breath to himself as the heels of his palms pressed into his eyelids. The rest of his body was motionless. It was akin to heartbreak, but even now it felt worse. The accumulating dread of no contact to his lover worried Michael. Was this like a break up?

"Michael? Hey... I'm sorry I got mad. We should really talk. Call me back soon, okay?"

"Michael, it's Ray again. What's up with you? Should I come over?"

Voice mails were always deleted by Michael usually. These... he felt the least he could do was listen to them. 

"This is ridiculous. Where the fuck are you?"

"Please, talk to me."

That was all there was at the time. Each one made Michael sink into a deeper stupor of truth. He wanted to pick up the phone and call Ray, but it was as if his fingers couldn't move. He still stayed there in his bed, slightly freckled shoulders bare and cool from the flowing breeze. What was stopping him? Michael wracked his brain for an answer as no muscle even twitched in an effort to pick up the phone.

They, instead, worked him into getting up and away from the bed to undress. Michael felt warm water rushing down his skin before he could even mentally digest that he had accidentally skipped breakfast. His mind was on other things, which made him teeter between awareness and pure absence to the real world

Hands were pouring cereal into a bowl as Michael continued to catapult between thoughts. Should he really be talking to Geoff anymore? What about Ray? Is there really anything he can say to his friend? God, all this became confusing before Michael could process it all. 

The rest of the day was like that; Michael doing things with half a mind whilst the other rattled on about the same topics at impressive speed. Evening rolled around without much event. It was a Friday, one he had off, in fact. Yet, even the work days were uneventful from days before. In addition to this, no Geoff.

"When did I get so attached to him..." Michael had not previously expected to feel for this guy. However, the overwhelming isolation just from not hearing that singular voice loomed over him. He cracked his knuckles, then his neck, then his back... but the tension right behind his bones didn't go away. Again, the phone rang. He clambered for it only to see Ray's name once more. "...fuck it." The call was answered.

There was a bitter voice immediately chastising him. "Michael, what the fuck? All day I got no response from you, now you want to answer? Shit man, what is even going on with you? That Goddamn Guy's messing with your fucking head! Motherfucker, are you even there? Hello?" It really just was a constant stream of emotion. Michael was stunned at first, unsure what to say. When he found his words, it was a bit more shy than he had intended.

"Can you come over?"

"I'm already on my way." The phone clicked off, indicating that the conversation was over. In Michael's case, this conversation was only on a pause.

The man closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. The silence of the house started up once more, louder than usual. Maybe it was the anticipation of a guest that made it so. Maybe it was the first calm conscious he's had in a while that did the trick. 

Ray skipped over ringing any bells; of course he did, he was upset beyond the word. The aggressive rap on the door made Michael wince. He hadn't realized how fast Ray would arrive, and honestly couldn't help the small laugh that came from him before answering the door. Of course he's here in five minutes, dipshit," Michael murmured to himself. "he cares about your dumb ass."

The door opened, and the man stood there with folded arms. He looked more like a disappointed parent than anything, which was weird for the carefree nature that he held most of the time. "You got any guests?"

"Do I look like I would right now?"

"Good." Ray stormed in, not bothering to take a seat. "Because you're about to have a whole fucking audience worth of talkin'. What the Hell is going on, Michael?" He asked sincerely, malice beginning to slip out of his voice. "Where have you been? I just... of course I care, like an idiot." What he was saying didn't exactly match up, but Michael didn't catch this just then.

He barely could bring himself to form words. The damage he had done to Ray was obvious, and painful. “I'm really sorry... I promise I am. I haven't even talked to Gavin in a while. You're the only one I really told.” Michael explained in the quiet room. Ray seemed to relax his shoulders with a huff, but his hard glare did not waver. “After you left, you think I could fucking tell anyone again? Then Geoff called, and I... went to his house, and-”

Immediately, his friend questioned that last sentence. “His house? Where, you know, he and his partner are?” There was a poison in his voice, and it was toxic to Michael. In all of the battles he’s had with himself, the man’s gotten weak; Ray’s comment couldn't be bounced off like an arrow to armor. It burrowed deep into Michael’s flesh.

His jaw quivered ever so slightly. “Listen, I don't make good choices, alright?” The admitting of his own stupid actions was unexpected. “Honestly, at least I don't hurt anyone else with the dumb shit I pull.”

“Oh, so that's what you think?”

Michael’s head snapped up from his wandering gaze. Eyes fixed on Ray, who looked embarrassed in the most livid way. “You have friends for a reason. We care, so just let us care.” Ray said in a gentler tone. “I'm not gonna say I know how it feels to be in your situation because I fucking don't. But you know what I do know?” He took steps forward, and they stared at each other as the younger man pointedly said, “I know how it feels to wait for someone to fuckin’ realize what they're missing.” 

“What? I-”

Ray embraced him in a tight hug before Michael could even muster a thought. “Your life isn't him. It isn't... can you remember that?” Tears were beginning to cloud his vision. Feeling like he was about to lose his cool, Ray shut his eyes tight and clung onto Michael fast when he still didn't answer him. “Well? Can you?” 

The tense atmosphere had Michael breathing funny. It got him even more emotional, and the feel of Ray keeping him close could have him telling that he felt the same. “I... I think I can.” Uncertainty was definitely in his voice. He hated it with a passion. Why could he not stand on his own two feet anymore? This was downright frustrating. 

When Ray separated himself from him, he wiped away the water from his brimming eyes. “God damn, this is so dumb.” He chuckled while looking away. “I... nevermind.” There was no way he could tell him now.

Whatever it was, Michael wanted to hear it. “Hey.” He caught his friends attention. “What were you going to say?” Michael was surprised at himself; it felt like forever since he talked to Ray like a true friend...a best friend.

“Nothing, really-”

“Don't you think it's time to stop messing around with shit? Talk to me.” 

Ray couldn't help his small laugh. “You're one to talk, aren't you?” Still, he shook his head. “If I tell you what's on my mind, everything is going to get even more complicated. Forget it.” It was obvious that he wanted to express himself badly, yet a restrained smile and forced cool demeanor held fast. Michael could see the frustration behind those glasses, the thin lines he made his lips, how intense Ray’s inner posture was. 

Suddenly, everything made a bit more sense. Even with this, Ray was right. Things were about to get a Hell of a lot more complicated. 

A flinch of shock jolted Ray as Michael pressed his lips on his. They stood there, hearts thumping. It seemed like an eternity before Ray relaxed, closed his eyes, and slowly found his hand pressing on the back of Michael’s neck to keep him close. It's all he wanted to do, anyways. 

They pulled away, cautious of the other. Ray was the first to speak. “If I told you how I felt, you wouldn't have... why did you do this? I thought... for fucks sake, Michael.” He seemed more agitated overall. “What are you trying to say?”

It wasn't uncommon that Michael didn't know something. Lately, that's been the theme of his life. This time, that wasn't the case. “I'm trying to say I understand.” He brought his face closer to Ray’s once more. Brown eyes flicked to Michael’s lips before staring up at him once more. “I understand, and I'm sorry for all the shit I did.” 

They closed the gap, Ray bringing in a lot more passion this time. They felt each other’s heated lips as they moved. Wet kisses were exchanged continuously. Michael was sure that this wasn't right, but he couldn't put his finger on how. 

Within a short period of time, Ray and Michael were shirtless. “I... Michael, are you sure about this?” There was a clear contrast between Michael and Ray; the latter thought things through much better. With this in mind, it was harder to just flow with these events. They had to stop and analyze what they were doing. 

Michael never realized how much he hated doing just that until now. Thoughts gave him too many negatives from doing this, but one positive notion trumped them all: he wanted to make Ray happy. After all that Hell of worry and hidden feelings, how could he dare leave him stranded again? What kind of person would he be? 

But then again... what kind of person would he be for doing this only to comfort Ray?

The look of panic that took over his friend's eyes brought him back to the real world. “This isn't going to work, is it? I should go-”

“No, don't.” Michael reached for his hand. “I don't want you to.” He couldn't see that doubt in Ray’s eyes ever again. It was too stressful, especially when he was the one who caused it. “Stay.” He looped an arm around Ray’s waist and pulled their chests together, kissing him immediately. No more thinking; not here. Not now.

Hands traveled from hair to necks to backs and lower. Eyes were gently closed, blindness to the events enhancing the feel of the touches, the gentle moans heard, the taste of each other. Ray’s fingers played along the curls of auburn hair. Michael’s thumbs caressed bare skin. They both were mapping out each square inch of body, nothing to be forgotten.

Michael was the first to kiss underneath Ray’s chin. They were gentle, cautious, careful. It was like small fingers afraid of breaking porcelain. He enjoyed the sound Ray made in response. With his left hand, the older of the two began to tweak Ray’s nipples. It earned him more delicious noises, ones that only encouraged him forth.

It was here that Michael realized what was so off. The missing link to why doing this to Ray hurt as much as it helped. He tried to not think of it within the millisecond he discovered it, moving back up to kiss Ray hard. 

The issue was how easily you could compare this to Michael and Geoff. How quick it would be to say Michael was treating Ray how Geoff treated him... and how could he subject Ray to that? Michael already knew what he’s become... there was no need to make Ray the same way. A disconnected chain of lovers that was desperate to be whole again, that's what this was.

Michael refused to make Ray a lover for the cold nights. He didn't want him pining for closure, spilling out “I love you” only when they have sex. He just couldn't do that to his friend.

The man was barely paying attention until Ray pulled away. “Woah, are you okay?” He asked. “Michael, what's wrong?” A thumb came up to wipe a tear from the other man’s eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I- God damn it.” Michael lowered his eyes, covering them with a hand. “Don't worry about it...” That was a weak way to try to cover his issues, but then again, he was weak in the first place. 

“Yeah, as if I can fucking do that.” There was deeply set concern in Ray’s features. “Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?” 

Michael couldn't do anything but shake his head. “I'm not... I'm not, I'm really not.” A sob came out. There had to be a way to clear things up, and maybe Michael’s found it. “I have to go...”

“Go where? Michael, please.” Ray was starting to get emotional too. He took a deep breath. This was all becoming a bit too much. “Please tell me what's going on... I can't deal with you hiding anymore.” 

It was the truth. Michael knew it was. “I’ll- I’ll tell you when I get back. I just... none of this is your f-fault, okay?” He could barely breathe. He went and scrambled for his car keys. Finding them quickly, he looked to the window. It was dark; there were storm clouds above. He couldn't help but think how perfect it fucking was.

“Wait-” But there was suddenly no time. Everything had to be done now, right now. Michael had to find out just where Geoff and he were going... or if their future was only a figment of his imagination. Only then was when he could really make his decisions. Otherwise, a wound was going to fester forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


	6. Finale

Eyes were on the road, tears wiped furiously from a reddening face. Storm clouds grew darker in shade, lower in altitude. The air was cool, cool enough for goosebumps. The car radio wasn't too loud, yet loud enough for a song to be heard.

“You're gonna hate him, then you’ll love me, then you’ll miss him, then you’ll hate me-”

Michael turned to radio to mute with a quick flick of his wrist. He wasn’t listening, anyways; voices in his head were creating quite a song. He swallowed with a dry mouth, trying to calm himself down. This couldn’t be that bad, right? Just a quick talk and then everything’s over. Everything has to be solved today, or else a lot of shit was going to explode in their face.

Doubt was still right behind his reasoning. A light turned red, and Michael stopped a bit more abruptly than he should have. He had to be more careful, or else he’d knock himself before even getting to Geoff’s. It was miracle he even remembered the route.

What if all this just got the two into deeper trouble? What then could they do? There was no way Geoff and Michael were going to survive... unless they really tried. Michael was barely sure what to think of the older man, the one who was a thing to look forward to, a reason to smile, a lullaby to calm. Too bad that calm is always in the eye of the storm. It's a shame, too. Michael always swore that Geoff was the right person for him.

Despite all that happened, there was still fondness in his heart. Geoff didn't shake him off as soon as they finished fucking; he did stay for a while. There was no memories of Michael being left to clean up after his mess or of slamming doors. He did care about Michael, but did he love him? That was what Michael wondered most of the way there, grip tight on the leather steering wheel. 

The rain looked ready to start falling at any minute, but waited. It seemed to be trying to find the right time to fall. WInd blew the leaves off a few trees, and they tumbled to a new, unknown location. Michael felt just like that, a tumbling leaf. He had clung on for so long, patiently hoping for nothing unexpected. The weather was bad, yet like the leaf, there was nothing to do but hope nothing drastic happens. But here they are, in a new location, knowing that their hope did nothing but crush them more.

Taking steps up that walkway were the most painful steps of Michael’s life. He had every possible step to turn on his heel and leave. Maybe he could escape back to Ray, and try to finish the thing he initiated. Possibly he could just go to a bar and indulge in alcohol, forgetting for a brief few hours the torment of seemingly unrequited love. 

All of this was clear as crystal to him. Yet, there was no escaping confrontation. It was now or never, and the man was tired of false hope. This was the first decision he made completely in what felt like decades.

A few raps on the door, and he heard footsteps over the whipping wind. “C’mon, c’mon...” Michael hadn’t considered that Geoff’s boyfriend could possibly answer, but there was only so much he could do.

“Did you hear the door?” An unfamiliar voice was heard. It was deep, slightly southern, and not at all what Michael was expecting. “Can you get it?”

He then heard Geoff’s, “Sure, babe” before coming to the door. Michael braced himself for a look of utter confusion, and felt his own sins basically crawling along his body. This was dumb, this was stupid, this was-

With the door opening, Michael looked up. Blue eyes stared back, and Geoff stood there for a few moments before a voice inside called to him.

“Geoff? Who is it?”

“Nobody important, just give me a moment.”

It was a spear through the heart to say the least. Michael stepped away from the door so Geoff could close it behind him, and began to talk nervously. “What the Hell, Michael?” He said in a bit of a hushed tone.

Of course he was being quiet. Can’t let the cat out of the bag just yet, could he? “Geoff, I...” What was he even going to say? Everything that brewed in his mind seemed to disappear once he went looking for it. Michael could feel himself looking like more and more of an idiot as the look on Geoff’s face grew more and more incredulous. “I...”

“Michael, you’ve got to go. If Ryan sees you-”

“I want him to see me.” Michael barely knew what he was saying. “You can just tell him I’m coworker, right? If I’m basically ‘nobody important’.”

Geoff seemed confused at first before adopting a serious look. “Michael, you have to leave.” He had lost control of the situation. It was slipping from his grasp, and as much as Michael was a great person, there was no excuse for this. Helplessness began to frighten him, and that possessive nature he hated seemed to show its ugly head.

In response, the younger man shook his head with a condescending smile. “I’m not gonna do that. Not yet.” He took a step toward Geoff. “I mean, how can I do that when I fell in love with an engaged man?” The chuckle he let out was bitter. “And now I’m screwing my fuckin’ friend over like you did to me. You’re a damn bad influence, you know that?” 

Rage built up inside of Michael, but a few deeper breaths suppressed it. Geoff looked at him with an expression of both guilt and annoyance. “We can’t talk about this now. I can’t be with you officially, and you know that.”

“Then leave me alone.”

“I can’t so easily.”

Michael rolled his eyes and raised his voice. “Spare me the sob story, Ramsey. How much does it take to break it off with the whore you fuck after something doesn’t go your way?” 

“Quiet down, will you?” Geoff hissed before saying, “What do you want? Why did you come here, Michael?”

“Where do we stand, Geoff?” Michael sounded restless. Impatience came at just the right time, because the man felt himself getting nasty with his words. “Can you answer that? I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but sitting around and waiting for you to be in the mood for me is bullshit.” All of this... if only it wasn’t true.

There was a quick silence, interrupted with a low and irritated voice. “I don’t know.” If Geoff did know, would they be having this talk right now? “What do you want from me, Michael? Of course I don’t know something you ask me at this very moment.” He distanced himself from the door.

It was more of an excuse than anything. “I want you to tell me what the fuck I should do about loving you.” Michael told him. “I’m not gonna keep hurting myself doing it.” The wince Geoff had let him know that this was actually getting to him. 

Of course Michael was hurting. Why wouldn’t he be? Geoff was thinking about himself mainly this entire time, even when he tried not to. It made him feel downright horrid. “Michael...” He was basically speechless; there was only so much you could say. 

“This... has got to stop, Geoff.” Saying so was torture of the finest degree. It was physically exhausting. “We can't keep going like nothing is fucking wrong. Everything is!” Michael couldn't help how loud he was when saying that. He took a few seconds to recollect his thoughts before asking a question. “So tell me... do you love me enough or not?” 

Geoff stared blankly at him, slack jawed and unsure of what to say. He barely knew what he felt anymore. Love once seemed like too strong of a word, but now something was off. If he was actually in love with Michael, all this would be over. So what was this, really? 

After a minute of quiet, Michael sighed. “Alright.” He was tense and done with all of this nonsense, hands in his pockets to protect from the chill. With a small nod, he began to turn back to his car. “I think I got my answer. Goodbye Geoff.” Tears pricked his eyes, but there was no way he’d let them fall on Geoff’s walkway. Even now the rain did not fall. 

“Wait,” Geoff said in a small voice at first before following it with, “Wait, Michael!” Footsteps hit the hard ground to caught up to him. 

It got Michael irritated. What could Geoff say that could cover his back? There was no way to recover from that blaring silent stating of how much Geoff just didn’t love him. Didn’t? Couldn’t? There was no difference now. Everything was better this way; at least, that’s what Michael attempted to convince himself.

A hand grabbed a part of his shirt. With a cold look, Michael looked back. “Michael, wait a fucking second, would you?” Geoff wasn’t sure why he wanted him to. There was little to nothing that could stop the inevitable: he was about to lose his lover. 

“I’m tired of waiting.” Michael pulled himself from Geoff’s grasp. “Why is it so hard to let go of me when you don’t love me? Y’know what, I’m done with this.” 

He tried to walk away, but Geoff then said, “I’m not sure...” Michael looked back once more. Geoff took a few steps forward to close the gap between them, staring into Michael’s eyes. They looked no more than brown. “I’m not sure if I love you or not.” With that last attempt to save this, he leaned in and gave Michael a chaste kiss. Consequences were forgotten in those few seconds.

This proclamation brought back the memories of them together, along with this kiss. Every sin they seemed, for an instant, innocent. Michael saw that Geoff was searching for hope in his eyes. However, something nipped all of those regurgitated feelings at the bud. He then said, with a pained look, “You still don’t know what you’re doing to me, do you?” Without finishing the thought, Michael went to his car. A weight was lifted off his back, but it wasn’t even bitter sweet. It was downright foul. That terrible feeling worsened when he looked back at the house and saw Ryan staring at them through the window.

Michael couldn’t even make the drive home fully. Eventually, everything sunk in ten times over. He could barely see right through the tears that were threatening to fall. Once pulling over, the man finally heard thunder rumble. Tears flowed down his reddening cheeks, and he began to cry. Rain puddled in the street.

“God, I’m s-so fuckin’ pathetic...” He mumbled between the sobs to himself. Hiccups made his body jump every minute or so, and Michael buried his face in his hands. Who he was hiding from, he couldn’t tell. The day’s entire ordeal was just tiring, and he just wanted to go home. 

Heartbreak was a bitch.

The door to the house opened tentatively, as if the wind had only blown it. Ray looked up from his phone, and stood once his friend entered. The door closed behind him. “H-hey.” Michael barely said over a whisper.

“Hey, what happened?” Ray came over. He looked to be conflicted, not knowing exactly where the two stood. “Are you... okay?”

That question was hard to answer. The situation was less overbearing, but Michael felt like utter shit. He answered with, “I think I’ll be okay.” 

Ray smiled genuinely and gently. “I’m glad.” The expression transitioned to concern. “What happened, exactly?” He wanted to comfort Michael terribly. “I stayed here just in case you came back, but you were taking a bit long. You left your phone, and...” He then noticed the red, tired eyes and how wet he was. “You’re a bit of a fuckin’ mess.”

“Yeah,” Michael laughed. “I am.” 

The two then locked eyes, the same thing on both of their minds. Where did this leave them? Was Geoff out of Michael’s picture? Ray looked away, thinking of something to say. “Maybe you-” He couldn’t finish before Michael pulled him in for a hug. Through the cold clothes, Ray was warm and comforting.

“Thank you.” The older man said. He felt Ray’s hold tighten in acknowledgement.

For once, there was nowhere else to be. There was no one waiting for the other. There was just the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: aam5ever


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~two months later~

The moon rose higher, iridescent light pouring through the windows and on the bed. The snores of two under the thin sheets mixed with the crickets from outside. Wind gently blew through tall trees, and cars passed leisurely with their calm hum and rolling wheels against the road. 

Ray hugged Michael closer, the curvature of the man’s back warm against his chest. In his state of half-sleep, he could see the blurry curls of hair right beneath his own nose. The younger man smirked, and felt his eyes getting heavier. It was always a delight to wake up to Michael next to him. Nothing felt better. 

What sounded like a car seemed to slow near the house. The two men were unaware until a knock of the door roused one. Ray slowly slid to the other side of the bed and stood, Michael grumbling next to him. “I’ll go see who that is.” He began meandering out to the living room, thinking about who it could possibly be at this hour.

A second round of knocks started up right as Ray reached the door. He opened it to see an unfamiliar face, arms littered with tattoos and eyes looking like they’ve been too nervous for too long. “Hi...?” Was all Ray could say at first. He rubbed his eyes before asking, “Sorry, who are you? It's kind of late...”

The man looked around in the dark before mumbling to himself, “Maybe this is the wrong house...”

“Who are you looking for?” Ray furrowed his brow. 

“Do you know a Michael?” The request made the younger man’s heart skip a beat. Was this...? “I'm uh... I'm Geoff. I wanted to know if he was home or anything. Sorry it's kinda late-”

“He’s not here.” It was the most immediate thing Ray could say. He never expected to hear about this guy ever again, and now he was at their doorstep? If Michael saw him... there was no telling what could happen. 

Even so, there was no denying the footsteps that were from inside. “Who’s there, Ray?” The raspy voice made Geoff’s eyes widen a bit more, their blue brilliance still duller than what Michael could have ever remembered. 

Before Ray could say it was no one, his boyfriend saw past him and at the older face in the dark. There was a breathing silence, one that was almost painful for both Geoff and Michael. They hadn't even seen each other at work, which was for the best. Both of them seemed to get a rush of emotions that they had secretly swore never to think of again. Ray could see the disbelieving confusion on Michael’s face, one that could still feel those wounds Geoff left both in and out of the bedroom. He did see the same in Geoff’s, but it was different in a way. Longing was there.

“Michael...”

“Geoff.”

The tension was immense; Ray felt it was time to move out of the way. He stayed near the door as Michael moved forward. “You can leave us alone, Ray.” The man assured him. He gave him a small, pained smile. “I’ll be okay.” 

Without another word, he followed Michael’s wishes. Geoff stared at him in a type of fixed wonder, as if looking into a memory. “I'm... sorry for waking you up.”

“Don't worry about it.” Michael answered him shortly. “Why are you here, Geoff?” His question was impatient, as if he had better things to do. 

The answer wasn't out right away. It seemed like his mouth wasn't working for a moment. “You know... Ryan left me.” Michael was stunned. After everything they've been through, it came down to Geoff being the one alone. 

Without much to say, Michael ended up stuttering out, “I-I’m sorry to hear that.” Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had hoped Ryan and Geoff lived without him together. Now that was shattered, and a man he dreaded ever seeing again had him apologizing for relationship problems. 

“Yeah, I, well- I had nowhere else to really go.” He could see the tears welling up in Geoff’s eyes. “I've never really gotten the chance to apologize... so... I'm really sorry about everything, Michael.” It was torture to look at Michael; his face showed pity and that stung evermore. 

Even in this situation, Michael couldn't bring himself to say it was all okay. The truth wasn't meant to be forgotten. “I know... I know you are.” He felt terrible for standing there and letting Geoff try to choke back tears. He bit lip and took a deep, shaky breath.

“Are you happy?” 

“What?”

The question caught Michael off guard. Geoff couldn't help but smile slightly, sniffing with his watery eyes. “I asked if you're happy.”

“Oh...” It felt awkward to answer, but he did. “Yeah. I am.” 

Silence caught up with them again. Michael looked away, a conflicted feeling building up inside of him. This entire situation was uncomfortable. It was almost jarring to think of how at home Michael once felt in Geoff’s inked arms. He sighed at the thought, looking back at the man before him. He was staring at the ground, shifting with hands in his pockets.

Geoff grew suddenly tense when arms wrapped around him. “Take care of yourself, Geoff.” Michael’s voice whispered into his ear. It sent a shiver down his spine. “Better than you took care of me.” The comment was genuine, bursting with the sadness of months ago. Geoff clung to him tight for a moment, as if securing the promise.

When Michael came back to the bedroom, Ray saw the soft look in his eyes. He didn't say a word, opening the covers for Michael to crawl inside. He did so, clinging onto Ray more than before. Michael dreamt of disconnected lives under clear blue skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: aam5ever


End file.
